My name is Mac…
NO, DON’T LICK THAT!!
What’d you just put in your brother’s ear!?!
Sorry, so as I was saying, my name is Macg…
I said get DOWN!!!
*relocates coffee & locks self in bathroom*
Ahhh yes here we are, much better. These kids are my heart, but are straight up M A N I A C S!!
So let’s try this again.
I started my blog “Macgyvering My Way Through Motherhood” at www.macgyveringmom.com about a year ago as a daily reprieve from parenting, and have been totally hooked ever since.
I mean, what can I say? MacgyveringMom is my outlet when I’m on the verge of totally losing my shit while parenting my my 4 year old, and two year old twins. Humor is EVERYTHING to me, and I honestly don’t know where I’d be If I couldn’t laugh, and make fun of the shitshow that my life is right now.
Macgyveringmom is my sanity saver, and “she” is generally way funnier & crazier than I could ever hope to be. Actually, she’s my f*ckin spirit animal & I hope that she calls me later.
And now I’ve made it weird.
So let’s get back to it.
I’m a 35 year old stay at home janitor-slash-snack dealer to 3 little boys aged 2, 2, & 4, and am one hell of a mediocre wife to a pretty awesome husband, or at least I think so when I don’t want to stab him in the clavicle.
I’m a true Atlanta, Georgia native, and wouldn’t change it for the world. Southern life is the best life!!
What amazes you most about being a mom?
One thing that amazes me most about moms is our ability to adapt to whatever curveballs are thrown our way. We might just be the strongest creatures on the planet. I found out that I was pregnant with twins when my oldest was 18 months old, and it’s been batshit crazy ever since.
Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder as a parent, “What the hell am I doing? Am I even doing any of this right?” And of course I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Well.. I mean I might trade it for one long, uninterrupted nap, but that’s not really appropriate so let’s move on.
When did u realize u wanted to start a family & be all grown up?
I started dating my husband when I was 19, and then just like that, 8.5 years later he asked me to marry him. But all joking aside, I knew that I wanted to wait until I graduated from college to get married, and wait until I was at least 30 to have children, because I wanted to “live my life.” Well low and behold, I actually conceived my first child on my 30th birthday, and little did I know that my life was just beginning!!
What’s the one thing you said you’d never do as a mom, but do now anyways.
One smallish thing that I said I would never do as a parent was allow them to have a snack before bed, if they hadn’t eaten much of their dinner. I was such a hard ass parent before I was an actual one! What I didn’t realize then (oh, naive younger me) was that if I stuck with that rule, that they’d wake up hungry at 3 am asking for a snack again anyway, which essentially means that my ass would just be up for the day at that point.
So in other news, my 4 year old gets a snack whether he’s eaten his dinner or not before bed every. single. night. Because f*ck 3 am hunger.
How would you describe yourself as a parent?
I’m incredibly laid back as a person, but am surprisingly strict-ish as a parent, when I’m not picking my battles. I think a lot of that stems from the fact that I just don’t want my kids to turn into a bunch of disrespectful assholes. And don’t get me wrong, I do believe that children are inherently good and wonderful creatures, but I also understand that we live in an imperfect world that has a habit of pulling you quickly in the wrong direction, if you’re not firmly rooted in something solid.
If we don’t fervently teach, and show our children on a daily basis how to be respectful, grateful, honest, assertive yet humble people, then they’ll just turn into assholes by default. It sucks, but it’s the damn, hard truth.
What did u dream of becoming when you were still a kid?
As a child I always dreamed of becoming a dancer. I was a dancer, gymnast, and cheerleader as a child and teenager, but now my dance moves best resemble a cross somewhere between “Backing That Ass Up” & the dumbass version of the running man. I like to bring it out at weddings sometimes just to make people uncomfortable.
What’s your escape from being a mom. What keeps you sane?
I would have to say that my faith is my biggest sanity saver, but an immediate second would be copious amounts of coffee, meme-ing, and wine. Because obviously. And not always in that order.
Which human values do u consider most important to teach our kids?
I think the most important values that I can teach my children are to seek God first in their life & to learn to treat other people the way that they want to be treated.
It’s so simple, but it’s of infinite importance. And I want them to know that they can absolutely choose to act this way, whether they particularly “want to” or not. You don’t have to feel like acting right, to do so. It’s a skill that they can, and need to learn. (Lolol, btw I need to work on this as a wife)
What are u struggling with while raising your kids?
I always pictured parenting to be this amazing adventure filled with lots of cuddling, giggling and heartfelt teachable moments. I guess I always pictured that I’d be more like the moms I used to see on tv, or even like the moms I used to babysit for in the past.
And while it does feel like that at times, (and I’ve memed this before) it more realistically feels like I’m at a Nascar race. It’s always chaotic and loud, everything’s kinda dirty, and you just have to keep making left turns until you figure that shit out.
Yes patience is a virtue, but if you don’t lose your shit on the regular, then are you even a mother? Or at least a mother of twins plus one?? I think a lot of moms hesitate to share on social media about how difficult parenting can be, because they’re scared of being judged by the slew of sancti-mommies that come out to play. And for good reason! These moms are vicious, and it is one of the main reasons why I started my blog and social media accounts. I want other mothers to see that not only are they not alone in their struggles, but that it’s okay to laugh and make fun of all the crap while we’re going through it. We are all just imperfect people trying to do the best we can with what we’ve been given.
For me, raising three kids 4 and under is brutal. It’s mentally, and physically exhausting on an HOURLY basis, but this is the beautiful stuff that life is made of. Mommin’ ain’t easy, but it is amazing if you choose to see it that way!
Growing up who inspired u the most and why?
Growing up, my parents and older brothers always inspired me. My parents have been married for 43 years and are still going strong, and no matter what hardships they’ve endured, they always kept the faith and pushed through together. By no means are they perfect, but they refuse to let life’s petty BS pull them apart because they are rooted in faith.
My mom always used talked to me about how perfection was a “myth” that was unattainable, and that I should always strive to be true to who I am, even if it meant being different from everyone else. She explained that i’d be happier in the long run if I was just true to my quirky, God given self. It took a while for it to sink in, but I have learned to embrace it as I’ve grown, and I want to teach my children the same thing.
I actually think a lot of regret and depression in life can stem from focusing on, and making decisions based on the opinions of others, rather than on what is important to you. I’d rather take a chance and step out in faith, than live with regret any day.
And growing up with two older brothers wasn’t a walk in the park, but I’m definitely tougher because of it. I actually idolized them and wanted to be just like them, and I honestly can’t think of a day as a child that I wasn’t surrounded by boys. I still kind of identify with myself as a tomboy to this day. The only thing girly about me is that I like to wear makeup, and thats mostly because I don’t want to scare the piss out of myself when I pass by the mirror.
What do you wish you would have done differently in the past 10 years?
Because, lessons learned.
What is a goal you want to achieve in the next 10 years?
I want my children to remember me being interested and actively involved in their young lives. I’m just so ridiculously tired every day right now, that if I can somehow make beautiful and lasting memories happen in this phase, then I’ve succeeded as a new-ish parent.
Fun facts about me:
So I know it might sound just a tad crazy, but growing up I always thought that I’d love to be a mom of twins, and I actually prayed to have twins (identical girls, to be exact) when my oldest was only 4 months old. Wtf, self!?! And it wasn’t an ongoing prayer or anything, it was more of a one time thing that I kind of forgot about. Something along the lines of “Lord, if this will be good for us as a family, then please send some identical twin girls my way, because that’d be awesome.”
And CLEARLY, He has an uncanny sense of humor. Because all boys here.
Well fast forward a year later to when I found out that I was pregnant with our second baby. I woke up one morning and vividly remembered the dream that I’d just had. That I was in fact, pregnant with twins. I was slightly taken aback, but quietly hopeful about it and quickly shared it with my husband. We both laughed and nonchalantly joked about “how crazy that would be!!”
Well a week later I had a second twin dream, where I was having a heart to heart conversation with them when they were teenagers, and It was around this point that I actually started believing that I was carrying two babies, instead of one.
And I realized that the more I talked about it and brought it up to coworkers, friends and family, the more concerned my family grew. Particularly my husband and my mom. But I was secretly ecstatic!!
Well another week went by, and I had a third and final twin dream that was so ridiculously real, that I almost called my mom at 3 am to tell her about it, but decided instead to wait until morning.
When I called, she expressed her concern about not wanting me to be let down if it turned out not to be twins, and reminded me that my chances were super low because twins don’t run on either side of our families.
And then, even though there was no doubt in my mind it was happening, I decided to just stop talking about it and instead began writing about it in my pregnancy journal. I did this in an effort so as not to intensify the weirdness with my husband, but all that went straight out the window when he came home to me watching a YouTube tutorial on how to tandem nurse twins one afternoon. I’ll never forget the freaked out look on his face when he said, “Let’s just wait to talk about all this until after our appointment on Friday, ok??”
Well Friday came, I was quietly pumped, my mom and dad were concerned, and my husband was strangely quiet.
So we arrive at the appointment are are finally in the exam room. I turned to the the lab technician and asked her if she’d make sure to be be extra thorough, because I didn’t want her to “miss anything” that day. She looked at me kind of confused, and said ” What do you mean.. like, miss another baby??”
My husband sighed and sort of rolled his eyes and said “Yeah, she thinks she’s got two of them in there.” She looked at him, and then back at me strangely and said “Okkk, well just give me a sec and I’ll tell you.”
She clicked several times on the screen, her eyes darting from left to right and back again, and then she sort of froze for a minute and said “I’ll be damned girl, there are two of them in there…”
My husbands jaw almost hit the floor, and I started crying tears of joy mixed with confusion and panic. I mean, I had KNOWN that this was real, but seeing both of their little pulsating heartbeats right there on the screen together was just too surreal for me to process. My mind was spinning, and I was feeling every emotion all at once. I remember almost nothing about what my doctor told me at that first appointment because I was in a total, stupefied daze. The only thing that I do remember him saying was that It was time for me to wean my 18 month old from breastfeeding.
I wanted to start weeping all over again right then and there, but somehow I held it together. We had formed such a strong bond through nursing, and I loathed the thought of having to end it so abruptly, but I knew that I needed to conserve all my energy and nutrients for the two littles that I was growing.
It was quite possibly the craziest day of my life!
Well, I guess that is until the day that I was holding both of my little identicals in one arm, and my two year old in the other… because words could never describe that feeling. I’ll never forget it!!!
Other fun facts:
I have been able to do a split and walk on my hands since I was five, and my middle brother taught me how to play the drums when I was eight. Metallica, Lars Ulrich style, or Eric Clapton, anyone?
Thank you Macgill